


What is Love?

by vajallie



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, NejiTen Month, NejiTen Month 2019, Nothing explicit, Older Characters, Plot Devices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 06:53:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18360881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vajallie/pseuds/vajallie
Summary: Aphrodisiacs and a convenient barracks were all Neji needed to discover his feelings for Tenten. But does Tenten feel the same way?





	What is Love?

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at writing adult themes so the love-making scenes here won't be touched upon in detail. (Maybe next time!)
> 
> The bedchambers might seem confusing but what I was going for is a more traditional Chinese themed bedchamber.  
> Anyways, Happy Nejiten month!

She was a good friend, Tenten embodied one. She was someone he could rely on, even if he wouldn't count on her with his life. Nonetheless, it was impeccable that they made things work, honing each other's weaknesses. He would have never thought that he would be in this situation, this horrendous situation, forcing himself onto her. This was not who he was, not how he saw himself.

Neji would have never imagined how violated she was, not implicating the fact that she too was under the same aphrodisiac he was. He sat back, assessing the calamity that ensued: her clothes ricocheted to various parts of the room, reminding him of the mere sexual hunger imposed against his will. Her blood stained the thin mattress; he took her virginity. Neji shook his head in denial, this scene, it couldn't have been done by him.

"Neji," the tiny body he knew every inch of had weakly spoken back to him.

"I'm sorry," was all he could say. Neji tucked his pants in and gripped hard on his waist sash. "I'm sorry." He looked away from her, not wanting to meet her eyes.

Truthfully, she too didn't want to see him as well. Her articles were far from her body, but before she could collect her scraps, the door flung open. Defensively as she had trained her body to react, she stood up. Modesty then begged to question her sanity, she was bare, wearing only one of her shoe. She dares to challenge whoever it was.

Their predicament didn't call for him to idly stand alone. His teammate, though their relationship has now become questionable, was standing brave and tall right before him. Neji kicked the inward door back onto the assailant, making time for him to stand in front of her, shielding whatever eyes from her onto him. In walked a man with an unfamiliar emblem.

It was then that Tenten remembered she was naked to the eyes, literally.  She condemned herself to the ridges of her teammate's broad shoulders and build like a timid mouse. He walked backward, cornering her to a wall. His arms defensively, guarding the barriers which none of her tanned skin could emerge from. It was then that she'd finally take in a proper dose of his scent. Lingering on his clothes were the remains of the aphrodisiac powder that spewed out from the vent, their only source of viable air.

"Stay back," Neji warned him.

The man chuckled, "what can you do with your limited energy?" Neji did not answer but merely gave him a glare. Whoever this man was, he knew exactly what was going on. "I plan to have my pure white eyes ready in the next five days," he continued. "So take care of yourselves."

"What does that mean," Tenten muttered. Unfortunately, Neji heard her.

The man smirked cheekily, "Here," in came another man, carrying two blankets. He purposely dropped it on the wooden floors before leaving.

The door slammed shut and Neji mentally sighed. He walked over to the blankets and threw one toward her. Still shy about her, he dared not to look nor spare a word. "Don't look," he heard her whisper. At this point, did it really matter? There was nothing else of her to redeem but human decency. Neji grabbed the other blanket and fluffed it out. How could they manage the cause of their lucrative actions? The vent was on the ceiling, a metal grate with Venetian blinds sealed any kind of meddling. Absent were any screws, and all around them were thrice enforced wooden walls. It felt as if they were in a container inside of some sort of building but he wasn't sure. "Can you look beyond this?"

Amidst his thoughts, his teammate had already slipped on her clothes. She had walked to stand by his side, arms crossed and her thinking cap on. She acted as if whatever had been done just a bit ago had never occurred. Neji stared at her, finding no trace of guilt nor fear in her eyes.

"No," he whispered. He continued to assess her; she was confident as ever. "I'm barely able to stand up."

He could see a mere hint of worry in her eyes. She was thinking briefly, and Neji couldn't help but glance at her painted skin, his eyes falling down from her cheekbones to her lips. Last he remembered, they were cherry red from his lips on hers, biting and roughly handling her. And now, they've begun to return pale and almost sickly. He snapped from his trance and turned away, catching the attention of the latter.

She snapped back to look at him. "What do we do now?" She asked.

"I will think of something," he replied. He had set his blanket next to where she left her's and moved over to the bed. "Help me flip the mattress."

Neji was deep in thoughts afterward, sitting in the corner of the room. There she was sitting on the bed with her legs crisscrossed, her eyes closed, back leaned against the wall, and her arms lethargically sprawled by her thighs. Was she doing okay? Should he ask her if she was? He has been thinking so much about her, her condition, and many more. But there was something more difficult to digest, something was sprouting inside of him. Feelings.

In all the years that they'd become a team, never had he felt this particular way toward Tenten. Would things go back to normal? He asked himself that many times in the duration when his mind was cleared.

Neji pulled his blanket closer to him, even though it wasn't cold, this was the closest to sanctuary he could be. Any kind of sin he could have committed, why must it be love? "Ack," he heard her grunt.

"What is it?" Neji asked.

Tenten scooted off of the bed and headed toward the doorless bathroom. It consisted of the bare necessities: a sink, a toilet, a shower head, and three separate drainages cemented into the floor. There was nothing that they could use as a weapon of protection. "Your semen," she trailed into the other room, "it's leaking out of me."

He didn't want to blush, yet his ears and cheeks displayed a rosy glow. Had he been concerned during their share of the bed, he would have not come inside of her. If she becomes pregnant with his child, her fate will be sealed to him. Neji's face fell to his palms, he did not mean for any of this to happen. For if Tenten carried his child, his marriage with Kana would be disintegrated. His love for her went far beyond just a duty. She, as a Hyuuga had stood by his side as well and it had been three years since their initial encounter.

It had been almost two hours since the first cloud of red aphrodisiac appeared. He hadn't shared his concerns to her at all. How could he bring it about if they were sitting at opposite ends? Just as he thought about that, Tenten had descended from the bed to sit next to him. "Have you thought of any solution?" She asked. Her gaze stared at the vent above them.

"No," he confessed.

She went quiet for a few seconds unsure of what to ask next. "Well," she began, "what are you thinking of right now?"

Down came the shield, Neji had given her his blanket that collected his warmth. "You can't have my child."

She stuttered as anyone would, why was he so blunt? "I'm not trying to have your child."

"I know, I just-" how should he put it? "Because we don't have feelings for each other," he was defeated. It was better to lie than to sever their friendship. After all, it was not their choice to be indecent and have sex.

Tenten gave him a stern look before standing up and walking back to the bed. "I guess so."

Neji had reserved himself to the corner for some time. He was tired from their predicament and had fallen into a slight sleep until the sound of a rumbling shaft shook him awoke. He opened his eyes to find her just as alert. They met eyes once to acknowledge each other's presence before staring right at the vent above them. As expected, the clear red smoke had begun seeping into their room. It came like the rising collection of moist air after a hot shower. Tenten collected her blanket and proceeded to throw the thing right at the vent. "I can't reach it!"

It was then that he grabbed both their blankets and handed them to her. "Here," he told her, "I'll hoist you up." With not a second to spare, she came into his arms that wrapped around her thighs. She straightened up and held out to the vent with her blanket wrapped hands. For almost three minutes, the red cloud ceased to appear. But as soon as it was gone, a loud thud sounded right above them, causing Tenten to jerk her body violently. Neji lost his balance and teetered away from the vent. It was there that they've lost hope. The red cloud had reappeared and he quickly guided her back to their objective. Right as they juggled underneath the vent, a thud caused the cloud to engulf them and the entire room.

He released her and held his breath. He could see her running to the bathroom for a mere breath. "Neji!" She called to him.

Neji stumbled his way into the next room to find her at the corner of the shower. "Did you breathe in any?"

"I don't know," she confessed.

"Turn on the hot water," he turned back to check on the air mass. Grabbing one of the blankets, he tried to fan the red cloud away. Moisture would destroy the red aphrodisiac particles.

Tenten struggled to do so, yanking and twisting the knob violently, "How do you do it!" Right then, she turned the knob left and out. Cold water drenches her clothes, making her let out a cry. "How do you make it hot!?" Tenten finally felt the warmth and called to Neji, "It's getting warm!"

"It's not hot enough!" He noticed that it was approaching their door and immediately used the blanket to block the doorway. "Tenten come help me!" She stretched a couple of steps and held up one corner of the blanket. After a while, she began to cough so violently that she'd dropped the corner and descend back to the running shower. "Tenten!" Neji called to her. She heaved in heavily, "Are you okay?" He asked her. She nodded and got herself to her feet. Neji had already collected her corner of the blanket and tried to stop the cloud itself. He tried to focus on preventing any more gas from entering and finally she had returned to help him. Her steps were sluggish, Neji did not know why.

Tenten had yanked the blanket down to his surprise. He looked at her with so many questions that he couldn't say. In a split second, she had forced her lips onto him, causing his heartbeat to spike. He pushed her away toward the water. He wiped his lips with his wrist, "What are you doing?" By now, the cloud had just begun to seep into the bathroom. He wanted to be serious, but seeing the shower head's water pitter patter onto her body, he couldn't help but be speechless.

"Neji, I inhaled it," she walked to him slowly, "I'm sorry- I didn't mean it," she apologized. He trusted her words more than her actions. Because in the next moment, she had captured his lips once more.

"I can't," Neji whispered, "I just can't-" he pushed her away. There was no way in hell he was going to take advantage of her again.

Tenten grunted, hitting the wall this time. "Neji, please," she begged him. "I can't hold my urges back," she pulled her shirt off.

He knew she didn't want them to do it again. Amidst all her wrong gestures, he knew she was begging him not to let her take advantage of him. He grabbed the blanket from the ground and walked toward her as the cloud occupied his standing spot. Her hands immediately wanted to pull him into another kiss, but he grabbed both of them and tucked them back to her chest. He wrapped the blanket around her tightly, as so she couldn't move nor hurt herself. She had fallen to her knees crying out incoherently, "I'm sorry Tenten," Neji breathed as his thumb brushed her wet hair from her temple. He knew it was futile to resist the toxic aphrodisiac clouds seeping to their space.

He shielded her from the raining water as the cloud finally engulfed them both. He gave her a weak smile as her arms squirmed out of the blanket to pull him into her final kiss. She was desperate this time, pushing against him as she ravaged his clothes. He responded softly as she pushed him to the floor. The taste of her lips, he thought they were much sweeter than the first time.

Tenten had fallen tired on his chest, the floor was too cold, but the hot water kept them warm. He stared at the ceiling of the bathroom, stroking the hair that stuck to the nape of her neck. He wondered if his feelings about her reverted this second time back to their platonic comrade-ship, but it remained the same. In fact, it had grown to more than just wanting sex. Neji wanted to hold her contently in his arms, or hold her hands, to keep her as his in his heart forever. He knew he was not mistaken the moment he started having these thoughts about Tenten. He was just afraid she wouldn't feel the same. "Don't touch me like that," he heard her command.

His fingers drew from the nape of her neck. She sat up, straddling his waist before pulling the drenched blanket over to cover herself. "What do you mean?" He asked.

"I don't want you to be sensual to me," she backed away from him to sit by the shower handle. "You can't develop any feelings for me, not in this predicament-" she gathered her clothes and inched away from him. "We were forced to do this from the beginning-"

"What makes you think that it can't?" Neji pressed. He had sat up searching for his articles as well.

"What?" She asked.

He got up to put on his pants, his back turned toward her. "I'm talking about our feelings," he stated.

He let her digest his words thoroughly, and she understood what he meant. She looked at him in confusion, "Don't tell me-"

"I already have," he confessed. "Don't tell me to suppress it, my heart can't be deceived this easily." He walked out, his shirt in hand. He could hear her footsteps thundering right after him.

"Neji-" she bellowed. Tenten wanted to reason for their possibilities. In no way has she ever succeeded in the years they've been together to have him spare her any inkling of kindness. She cannot abide by what he has chosen to do.

Neji knew she had more to say, so much more to argue with him over. But had it not been for the odd spectacle right before their eyes, they'd gone amplifying the volume in that room. "What the-"

Neatly folded, a pair of white towels laid by the bedside. Another pair of warmed blankets were neatly displayed next to the towels. And as a token, a pair of two-piece pj's, one large and one small, were flanneled out. A piece of paper was also lingering atop their towels.

 

/food will be served at 9 pm exact/

 

"Before we talk," he walked to the towels, "take a shower."

Neji couldn't recall the date they were locked up in that tiny cell. He just couldn't tell the time being drugged for half the time. But the day they were rescued by Lee and Gai, he'd wish they hadn't. His time with her, however long, he wished they'd stay like that forever. Just so that he could see her, and delude himself that she wanted him. Not minding that he too was just as elated as her to finally leave, there were so many memories he left behind. He couldn't bear to abandon it. Neji remained at the back of their formation, stealing longing glances at his teammate, or should he say, his former teammate.

He knew all too well how difficult it is to alter her mind, her choices, or her mode of conduct. To her, he was a business acquaintance. She had never hinted nor let slip any slightest chance of development of feelings for anyone that he knew of. If she did, Kana, his significant other, would have never entered his life. And he would have been content with Tenten only. The only thing that barred him from confronting her was fear of rejection for he cannot stand to lose his honor. He was unsure of her feelings toward him, if she felt a romantic kind of feeling toward him. He had nothing to make her his for all these years until now.

"Gai, Lee, I want you two to leave the office," Tsunade insisted. Bidding their farewells, she pressed onwards. "The room was hideous," she read the report. "Interrogation, instigation-" she squinted at a particular phrase, "eyes from the offspring-- captivity," she finally ended. To the unknowing, it would have been incomprehensible. "What caused the initial incapacitation?"

Neji gulped, and Tenten remained silent. "The ambush began at a side house restaurant," he began, "we decided to rest after the long journey. What remained until our destination were five more hours of travel." The higher up nodded, jotting down something.

"Continue," the Hokage encouraged.

"The perpetrator was the owner herself opening the teapot that was filled with what I presumed to be a sleep inducer," Neji continued. "In the time that I awoke, we were already transported into the said filthy container."

The Hokage nodded, her pen moving profusely. "Must I know if anything happened in that room," she stated. As obvious as it was, Tsunade already knew what the intention was from the report. She wanted to know if such a tedious task of reporting everything that went on would be upheld by her people serving her village. "Hm?"

"Right," Neji began, "as reasoned, the use of aphrodisiacs were conducted upon us in an inhumane manner," he cleared his throat, obviously wanting to be indifferent to what had happened. But the way it had to come out, he couldn't keep his composure. "Intercourse was inevitable."

Tsunade knew the moment this case was tied to the Hyuuga Clan, she'd have very little power over their rules. Same goes with any other Clan residing in her village. There would be no possible way to help Tenten out of the Hyuuga's meddling if she was pregnant. "Give me a total," she dreaded the command. Tenten having a child in her mid-twenties would be fine if she was an ordinary woman, she and Tenten knew. But Tenten was a warrior of the village and her duties, as well as honor, were far higher than bearing a child. She had achievements that she shared with the Hokage. And if she hadn't shared her aspirations, maybe Tsunade wouldn't have been so concerned.

"13 times," Tenten interjected, "not to worry, everything was devoid of meaning." She clasped her fists tighter. Neji dared not to input anything further.

"It doesn't matter," Tsunade told her. "Get going to the hospital, I'll arrive later for the results." She hurried the woman off. She then furrowed her brows, the situation was not a calming matter. "Are you aware of the HRH?"

Neji nodded, "I can recite it."

She acknowledged him, "Then follow her to the hospital. You need to know the results."

"Yes, I would have done so regardless," he replied.

"Alright," she nodded him off.

Neji walked out of the hospital feeling a bit flustered. Still, Tenten was adamant about everything that had happened within the last five days. ‘Not to worry, everything was devoid of meaning’’,er words echoed in his head. She must've found him repulsive. During those five days, Neji was sure it was Tenten whom he wanted to have in order to love. And the fact that she refused to acknowledge his feelings, he found her so selfish and stubborn. Then again, he too was selfish for wanting her against all odds. ‘She must be pregnant with my child, no matter what’’.

When she first entered the room, she gave him one last gaze filled with fear. Only his pearl eyes assured her. But when she came back out from that hospital room, two more pairs of white eyes joined him. Hiashi and an elderly had come by to hear the results. From down the hall, the doors slammed open, revealing a hasty Hokage. She walked to Tenten who stood by the doorway. Shizune threw her gloves in the wastebasket before nodding. Tsunade then invited everyone to another room across the hall. Had the Hyuuga not been so protective of their kekkei genkai, she wouldn't have to have everyone in her business. Neji just wished it could have been handled more better, he just didn't know how to make it better.

Sitting in a quaint waiting room, the muscles in his body tensed. He couldn't rest easy at the slightest as he waited for the verdict. Even now, he hadn't the heart to look at Tenten, to try his best to read her mind. She has been mute this whole time and it was making him restless. "Tenten is indeed carrying Neji's child," Shizune broke the silence. Neji could already see Hiashi's disdain show just by the vein of his temple appearing. The Elder gripped the armrest tightly before smacking his lips.

"Kill the child immediately," the elderly objected.

"Hold up," Tsunade reasoned. "There is no need to-"

"We do not know if that child will have the genkai or not!" The elderly replied. "Bastard child-"

"That child is mine," Neji replied, stunning Tenten. Her head had been down for the time being, but his voice among the mangled words was what she heard the most. "There is a possibility that the child will carry the genkai-"

The elderly stood up abruptly, "Nonsense!" He accused Neji, "This is one of the reasons why we've made Kana your to be wedded wife, she guarantees our genkai to continue-"

"Regardless, the child is mine-" Neji pressed.

"Enough!" Hiashi slowly rose up. Tenten tensed up at the sound of his voice. Instinctively, Neji had inched closer to her. "I am going to abide by the HRH despite the child's ordinal."

The elderly glanced at him in an appalling manner, "Hiashi you mustn't."

"Prepare for her arrival in two days," Hiashi demanded. The elderly shook his head in disapproval and walked out of the room. "Neji," he called to him.

"Yes," he replied. Maybe Neji had gone too far to argue with the elderly. He couldn't just sit silently as the bearer of his child and love of his life be humiliated right as he was.

Hiashi began to exit the door, "Escort her home."

He bowed, "Yes," Neji responded. What the higher up meant was to keep Tenten safe, but they had much more to talk about.

Tsunade sighed in relief, "Alright," she exhausted, "don't stress yourself." She patted Tenten on the shoulder before leaving. Following her left Shizune.

Now they were alone. Without a second to spare she spoke to him, "Follow me." He obliged, only because it was her.

The sun was falling down like a droplet of water. She has taken him to a deserted place, where the rustles of trees easily muffled their voices. She turned to him filled with anger and so much to say. Yet the only thing he could mutter was her name, and so he did, "Tenten."

Her eyes shut closed for a mere five seconds, yes he counted before she returned to meet his eyes. "I can't accept this," she let out. "You are forcing this choice on me! I don't want this child and don't want to have anything to do with your clan." Her shoulders threaten to broaden, caging him against his guilt. "Neji I've told you many times I didn't want this-"

"What can I do?" He interrupted her, "I will state what I have to say and you will hear it-"

"Neji!" She pleaded.

He let his muscles run loose, all the tensity released in one go, "My feelings for you are real and I want you to be mine. I don't care one bit if you don't want my child, how can you be so deceiving?" He walked past her.

Tenten pushed him back to face her, "Deceiving?" She paused, trying to find clarity in his eyes. "How?"

He turned to her voluntarily, towering over her, "You wanted me," he whispered almost childishly. "You confused me, saying you wanted me, to kiss you, to hold you, to make love to you-"

"I did not!" She screamed. Shoving him away hard. "I haven't confused you!"

"How can you say that!? After I was done you'd cower away and act as if we've never sensually touched each other! You wanted me as much as I wanted you and you know it!" He yelled right back at her. "How can you say you didn't confuse me!"

She wanted to slap him so much and she almost did if he didn't stop her. "You don't know anything," she yanked her arm out of his grasp. She was unwilling to bypass their marriage, the whole ordeal regarding the child and his clan.

"We cannot escape this ordeal, I'm not happy about this too you know."

"You sure don't look the part," she said as she removed her wrist from his grasp.

"The best way to keep you safe until the baby is born," he clasped his hand into a ball, "is for you to remain in the clan." She ceased to speak, already against it all. "As time passes," Neji announced to her, he had turned away to leave. "You'll know how much I'm willing to do for you."

Verbal arguments that they have had was never as impactful as this one. It has never gotten him so heated up and filled with unruly remarks toward her. The last he remembered what they argued about, it was about his use of weapons. The way he was holding them, it was wrong and that he needed to correct it. _'You will hurt yourself one day without me'_ Even if the context was slightly off, what she said applied even now. It was one of the reasons why he needed her beside him. Neji did not want to admit to anyone ever, that he did not want to be hurt, especially if the wound wouldn't heal even after a decade. He was thinking about love and its ability to incapacitate so easily. Petty, as it was, he still felt wanted.

The next two days, Tenten had refused to see him. He supposed she was going to go through this whole wedding and assimilation being hard headed as she had stated. On the third day, he caught a glimpse of her carrying a white robe past him. It was supposed to be Day 1 of their wedding ceremony and he had just seen her now, in the afternoon. And when they met again, she was wearing white. He too was also in white, waiting for her to join his side. Their next destination was a few halls away, their first night together. She still refused to speak up to him nor look at him. Should he comfort her even after scolding her? Whatever at this point, it didn't matter. He will do it tomorrow night. But as for tonight and the next, the people around them would be hustling around nonstop. Their wedding would take over two days and their guests would be locked in the Hyuuga household for the time being. Sure this tradition was odd but it was what made being assimilated into a Hyuuga so memorable.

When the clock struck 12 noon, he was escorted straight to a separate annex, a white gown waiting for him. Alas, his silky, long, black hair was ornamented with a mere hairpiece, acting as a crown of virginity and purity- both which was taken from him. Now the meaning of the color he was wearing was solely just a show of tradition.

The noise outside seemed to drown out the moment he turned around to meet her sitting by their bedside. Tonight was supposedly the night a couple would consummate, but there was no need for that. She was not in the mood and nor was he. He could tell she was beyond tired by her slouched figure. All those prickly ornaments adorned on her must've been annoying. He walked to her side, sitting next to her. A little hesitant, he pulled out the thumb-sized shapes from her hairs all the while his eyes remained trained at the butterfly kisses of her lashes. Not once had she glanced at him, or flinched, or said anything. Recklessly, he placed the ornaments on a nearby stand. It was now her turn to loosen his coat until they were in their white undergarments. Neji wished he'd pay attention to how she was peeling his articles off, but he was so mesmerized in her.

"I'm done," she tiredly murmured.

He blinked. Already his outer articles were sprawled on their bed. He gave a low acknowledgment before returning the same amount. And after he was done he'd separated himself from her. She had crawled to sleep on the bed as he poured himself their ceremonial cups with alcohol. 'To our marriage,' he murmured sadly. Somehow, he wanted to wane, and drown himself in alcohol he would never drink. All his old self seemed to have disappeared as the chatter outside continued on less vigorously. She was now his, under his grasp, under his command, why couldn't he be happy? He wanted her because he loves her, but he was so selfish about it. Not long before the alcohol bottle was empty, Neji had joined her.

He hadn't noticed, but she couldn't sleep at all. Pushing all those bad thoughts aside, he groggily slid his arm over her, bringing her closer to him. He couldn't pinpoint it, was she warm? Cold? Home? His breath shuddered as he breathed, causing her to shift, turning around to meet him for the first time tonight.

She seemed to be searching for something from him, at a loss for words. "Are you satisfied?"

Her words stabbed him sharply, hitting him right in the place he was most vulnerable: his feelings for her. Satisfied? Not in the least. "No," Neji replied in despair.

"Your face seems to differ," her cold words froze him to the core.

"I'm always indifferent," he replied back to her. She ceased to speak; she was thinking. Neji saw this woman as a different one from the one he knew. His comrade was now his wife and she definitely did not want to be his’ either. Will she bicker with him until the end? Will he continue to bear her words and still have the same feelings for her? Will she allow him to love her? He has wavered in the presence of her cruel treatment for him.

Her eyes rested on his white orbs for a period of time. Without saying a word, she had intertwined their fingers, she squeezed his hand to assure him he thought. To be honest, he was unsure what she was feeling deep inside, or what she wanted until he listened intently on her breaths. Gone were long and erratic gasps of air and shortened pulsatile exhales. 'Aha!' He had unraveled their hands to place his arm over her shoulder, the palm of his hand cradling her locks of hair as she finally fell asleep in his arms.

Neji spent the night looking for a meaning in her gesture. Alas, he discovered that throughout all of this, all these unfamiliar faces, it was only him that she met eyes with. Familiarity. He was her comfort throughout the people in his clan. Even though she didn't say it out loud, he had always found a way to figure out what she wanted him to. Deciding on this conclusion, he fell asleep.

He had found that sleeping next to someone was a bit awkward. It was his first time having someone in the same bed as him and he constantly worried that he'd wake her up whenever he shifted his position. He was restless that entire night. She felt unfamiliar in his arms.

When noon struck, Neji was awaken by a commotion outside his quarters. A barrage of bells jingling woke him up just in the right time. He was able to witness her hand that rested on his chest shift. Her fingers then curled, grabbing his white robes a little before her body tensed. Immediately, she awoke, propping herself up and searching for the noise as he continued to gaze below her.

“To another day of rejoice,” she murmured. _No_. She was still adamant on her stance on this marriage.

Neji looked at her as she promptly got up without inviting him to do as well. As much as she was familiar with only him in his clan, it wasn’t enough to suffice overcoming her initial opinion on their marriage. She left him alone and Neji’s eyes roamed around the ceiling. _She doesn’t want this. She doesn’t love me as I do to her._

Night 2. Tenten kept a safe distance from him the whole day and now they were under the same roof again. Her downcast attitude must have gotten to him but why should she care? Why should Tenten be thoughtful and change herself around for him? Neji never considered her feelings. Well, she really didn’t consider her feelings for him either.

Love was the last thing on her mind. Tenten peeled the layers of clothes from his shoulders more slowly this time around, she didn’t even know she was doing so. Love was the last thing on her list of kunoichi duties. And to hear that her closest comrade meant every word when he said that he loves her, that exploded her anger. Tenten never wanted to think about love. What they did in that secluded barracks, it was all lust. That was it. Tenten shimmied his outer layers of clothes down from his arms. What happened back there wasn’t love. Even though she didn’t know what love was, she knew that it wasn’t what love was supposed to be.

Tenten blinked and she escaped her minor deep thoughts. Neji’s hand had caught her hands from revealing his bare chest. She gasped, not realizing she’d undressed him a bit too far. “I’m sorry,” she truly meant it. Tenten tugged her hand back and placed it shakily onto her lap, “Go ahead.” It was his turn to undress her down to their undergarments.

_This can’t be it._ She indulges in her thoughts again. The way he took off her clothes this time was different from yesterday night. Last night’s undressing was filled with hesitance, shyness, fearfulness, and most of all, guilt. Tenten looked up and met his gaze. She realized only then that he was preoccupied with removing her clothes. His eyes met with her’s briefly, not even a mere millisecond was spared to her before they fluttered and descended back down. This time, his gaze was lower than before. This kind of look, this emotional look, Tenten witnessed it for the first time. _He’s hurt. I’ve hurt him._

Neji’s hands drew back as he pulled the last hairpin from her hair. “Goodnight,” his monotoned voice flushed over her. Tenten’s heart skipped a beat. It was a tone filled with sorrow. Who knew that someone as non-expressive as him would display his sadness merely with one word? Tenten watched as he parted from her and sat onto the table in the room. Tonight, just as yesternight, he’d drink the wine until it was gone.

How could she know? Through his one word, she knew he was discontent and more complicated than he ever showed. Tenten promptly moved to the bed. She shouldn’t care, but she knew she did. She pulled the covers and turned her back against him. For several hours, she pretended to sleep as she listened to the constant clinking of the porcelain cup hitting the marble table.

Neji didn’t return to bed. Tenten rose from the covers and turned to see what he was doing. Neji had rested his head onto the table, his arm acted as the pillow. He was sound asleep. Tenten planted her feet to the ground and she cautiously trudged toward his back. Indeed, she’s made him distance himself from her. She sat beside him, carefully, resting her chin on her hand onto the surface of the table as her eyes lingered on his face, his elegant face. His defined structures were what made him, him. It possessed her to trace her index finger lightly over the bridge of his nose down to the tip of his cupid’s bow. Her heart skipped a beat, and then another, and then several more. She could still remember the rough kisses his lips gave.

Rough, all the kisses he gave her was rough. They hurt and they were aggressive. It was much like all of the drug-induced love-making they did in that barracks. Tenten drew a breath and sighed. If they truly made love, perhaps she would have felt more contented in marrying him. Neji was an honorable man but it was just that, he never belonged to her in the first place. His love wasn’t meant for her. Yet, she somehow received it. Kana would have loved Neji as much as she did right now if they’ve made love. But as far as Tenten knew, Neji was a virgin when he deflowered her.

Tenten wrapped her arms around Neji’s waist and hoisted him up to the bed. She wanted their love to be right, she wanted their love-making to be right. It wasn’t about the pit of desire and lust and the fire that erupted and ignited their 13 sexual encounters. It was about the growing flame that genuinely sparks when permitted by love. Tenten wanted that. She knew she had his child, but she wanted him to make love to her. Only this time, she wanted to give back with genuine kisses and genuine love. However, it would have to wait until the next night, when he wasn't so drunk. Tenten dragged him toward the bed and he groggily fluttered his eyes open. “What are you doing?”

His feet slightly danced across the floor as Tenten plopped him onto the bed. His back hit the bedding and she, whose arms were trapped behind him, hovered over him precariously. “Sleep here, it is more comfortable.”

It was more comfortable on the bed, Neji must admit. And because she initiated the request, he complied. Yet, he said nothing. He merely arched his back so that she’d be loose from his weight. And when she lifted herself from him, he brought his feet up to the beddings and turned to his side, turning his back to her.

Tenten carefully climbed over him and onto her side of the bed. She hadn’t claimed this portion of the bed as her’s yet, but she’d done it now. When she settled down, she settled down facing him. His eyes opened briefly to watch her as she did to him before closing. Tenten thought he drifted into a sleep, and it was then that she scooted closer to him to pull the covers over his shoulders. “No more denying,” she whispered almost inaudibly. _No more denying this marriage and you._ Tenten continued to watch him in his slumber. This was truly the first time she’s given him this sort of her attention.

“Denying what?” Neji ushered, frightening Tenten. She pulled away from him only to be chased after as he brought himself closer to her.

“Hm?” she played dumb. Neji’s face was closer to her than ever permitted whilst lucid. She hadn’t blushed this intensely until now. Tenten’s pupils glossed over every inch of his face. She thought she caught a glimpse of a simper on his lips but wasn’t quite so sure. “You weren’t asleep?”

Neji shook his head no, “I’m not sleepy, quite the opposite actually.” His eyes continue to bore into her’s and he drew his fingers to tuck her hair behind her ears. She didn’t flinch nor show any discomfort. Only her candied eyes gazed at him, unblinking. However, Neji lifted his touch from her. He was still hesitant to touch her in any other ways. But when she quickly wrapped her hand around his wrist and guided his hand to her cheeks, his worries disappeared.

“You,” Tenten said softly, “no more denying you.” She longed for him to touch her again. But he wouldn’t touch her, and Tenten initiated first when she inched closer to his lips. If he were to reject her advances, he’d do it by now. “Kiss me.”

It was something they both knew. Gentleness was in his genes. Neji leaned in, capturing her lips with a hunger he couldn’t quite forget. But he was slow, he wanted to experience love in its sweetest moments, not the pleasing orgasm that’s yet to raise his libido. And so Neji kissed her as lightly as he could and he pushed her shoulder back so that he’d be the one to straddle her like the many times before.

Her breaths shuddered and she moaned in between his dreamy kisses. There was no other way to see it or experience it. Everywhere he touched, it tickled her senses, sparking a feeling that she hadn’t felt because of the aphrodisiacs. Tenten pulled his crossed-collared undershirt off and finally let her hands explored his toned chest. And just like that, he pried her shirt open and lifted the useless breast garment from her. Their night would seem short, for their play had only just begun.

Methodically, Neji scraped her underpants off as her feet tugged his' down to his knees as well.  _So this was what real pleasure feels like._ His love, his touches, they weren't synthetic. Tenten knew that whatever he was doing to her right now, it was all real. His kisses were raw and filled with emotion. It was no longer lust that she felt from him. With every grunt, every hitch of the breaths, every whimper, it was all different. His love didn't hurt as much as it used to. Tenten held onto Neji with all her might. Numbness reached her legs but he wasn't done. And she wasn't done.

The notion was to take it slow and make it long. Neji believed he's accomplished this aspect. For the remainder of the night, the candles dimmed and faded to black. But even in darkness, he could still see her. With his fingers, he stroked her cheekbones, wiping her tears away. All the noises she made never ceased to stop even in the silence of the night. The way she hovered over him and finally rested on his chest after her session of dominance finally gave him the confidence to say it.  _So say it._ "I love you." 

He watched as she raised her head up and pressed her chin onto his chest. Her breathless pants and warmth radiated to his reddened cheeks. "I love you more," Tenten confessed. She kissed him fervently for which it took her breath away. 

The traces of their mixed fluids rested on their groins. It stained their bedsheets and perfumed their bedchambers. Soundly, the night passes on with the silence of the calm winds. 


End file.
